
Ironically,even I, knowing better, still fall into that trap of not always honoring and loving my body. Of at times beating myself up about my body. Like this week, I was looking at this painting – called Shadow Play – and caught myself thinking negatively about my body. Cause – OK for this one, I was the model. And I was looking at the stomach on thispainting and thinking – “Damn, why did I not suck it in for that photo?” And “Damn – why did I not paint that stomach flatter and skinnier?”
When I use myself as a model, it’s not a vanity thing, it’s a I need a new painting and it’s 2 in the morning and I’m my the only model available,kind of a thing. So I have taken pictures of myself to use as reference at the worst possible times likes during my time of the month or right after my miscarriage. But hey, I had the urge to paint something new, something my previous reference pictures weren’t showing,or to finish a story I needed to tell. So I did.
Isuppose I wish for myself, what I wish for all women – to love yourself, curves, “flaws” and all. I promise, most men and any man worth his weight, will look at those seeming imperfections and LOVE them. So give him a head start, and love yourself first.